The doorbell rang, and I heard the twang echo in my ears. I was so incredibly tired, but an avid insomniac. I was getting kind of irritated, but i went to the door anyway. There was my best friend, smelling like a sewer, and appearing several shades darker. He wagged his tail, and romped through the house. Our neighbor looked disgusted, treating the hand that held the collar like it was infected, and holding it out like a wild sparkler on the 4th of July. She looked like she didn’t want it to get too close to her, but unfortunately, it was connected to her body. After she and her diseased hand took the pleasure of getting out of our house, definitely headed for the laundry sink and several tons of dish soap, I went to track down my bud. I peered across our lawn, and saw the fresh snow stained with the dirt that was hollowed out by Brody’s roundish shape.
He was on my bed, I mean, of all the places…of course that’s where he’d be. He always runs away at night. I think he just likes to be free at night. Me too, there’s just more consequences for me. He bolted off of my bed. Great. Just great. Just… fab. I get to play with my dog at 3 am. I yelled at him, and got the stare that is absolutely heartbreaking…kind of a ‘why did you catch me, and why don’t you want to play with me?’ kind of looks. I picked up that fat lard of a dog, and fought to get him into the tub. I turned towards the cabinet for some type of strong shampoo for him. Maybe mouthwash? I had the water running, and Brody was loving it. He was blowing bubbles, and then to my horror, shook every droplet of water off his coat, and it covered my left side.
I gave up. I decided that I don’t care anymore. I threw a towel on him, and then trudged to my bedside table to write myself a note. i grabbed one of those super-old pencils that weren’t very good in the first place. It wrote okay, the eraser was just defective…It left a glossy mark across the words, and smeared the lead a little. Note to self: Clean Brody before family reunion. I have the meanest brothers and sisters. I swear. They’re all snobs…I don’t even want them under my roof. And then I fell asleep as the doggy-door flap opened.
